Late Night Jokes 5 December 2014
by John | 28th April, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Kimmel.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
This is official today. China has surpassed the U.S. and now has the No. 1 economy in the world. After hearing this, China’s children asked, “So now can we take a lunch break?”
North Korea ordered people with the same anymore as Kim Jong Un to change their names. If you have his name, you have to change your name. And to avoid even more confusion, you’re deporting all chubby lesbians with bad haircuts.
Today two men dressed as Batman and Captain America tried to rob someone at a gas station. They’re being charged with attempted robbery and mixing Marvel with DC.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
There was a press conference in England announcing the new James Bond movie. It’s going to be called “Spectre.” they unveiled Bond’s new car. It’s not even out yet. They have not even made it and Jay Leno has two!
The Bond girl this time is Monica Bellucci. She is very beautiful. She’s the oldest Bond girl ever. She’s 50. You know they are going to make a big deal out of that and give her a name like Ivanna Playbingo. Or Miss Menopausy. Anita Supplement. Havna Hotflash. Eileen Onawalker.
It was a great week for Jimmy Fallon. He welcomed a baby girl. Congratulations, Fallons! In this modern society, your little girl can grow up to be anything she wants. Except of course a late-night talk-show host.
A marine biologist in California discovered a very rare 12-pound lobster. He said he planned to return the lobster to the ocean. But today he was seen buying 12 pounds of butter.
According to a survey, the most popular Christmas song of all time is “Silent Night.” The least popular? “Joy Behar to the World.” Or “We Three Kardashians.” What about “I Saw Mommy Kissing Bill Cosby.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Ryan Seacrest is here with us tonight. You may know Ryan from the majority of things on television.
I like Ryan Seacrest a lot. But do you really need to promote New Year’s Eve? I feel like the calendar does a pretty good job of that on its own.
The birthrate in the United States is at an all-time low. Whereas our death rate is still holding strong at 100 percent.
The trailer for the new “Terminator” movie came out today. Arnold Schwarzenegger, as you may know, is back. Said he’d be back, and he is. A man of his word. In this one he goes back in time to stop Phil Collins from launching a solo career.