Late Night Jokes 30 October 2014
by John | 28th April, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Apple CEO Tim Cook officially came out as gay. But knowing Apple, a new Tim Cook will probably come out next week.
Yeah, Apple CEO Tim Cook came out as gay. Then the CEO of Samsung came out as being even gayer. Those guys are always competing.
Halloween is tomorrow. A group of wine experts has actually come up with a list of the best wines to pair with Halloween candy. They say, “White wine goes great with Skittles, red wine goes great with Twix, and . . .we’re alcoholics, aren’t we?”
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Kim Kardashian said she might let her daughter North design clothes for her fashion line. I think North is up for it because she already created a bib that says “Get me out of here. Please, free me from these people!”
This Halloween, if you see a blue pumpkin, that means the house is handing out allergy-free treats. That’s true. Of course, if you see a blue pumpkin, it could also mean the house is using last year’s pumpkin.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Did you watch that World Series Game 7? Normally the winning team sprays each other with champagne. But because of recent disease and medical scares, last night the San Francisco Giants slathered each other with Purell.
The San Francisco Giants had a celebration after they defeated the Kansas City Royals last night in Kansas City. After that, they had another tribute to Derek Jeter.
If you get a doughnut and a croissant together, it’s called a cronut. The Hello Deli next door has its own hybrid called the Eboli. It’s half Ebola, half E. coli.
The CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, announced he is gay. Rival Samsung responded by saying their CEO is 50 percent more gay.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Congratulations to the Giants for winning the World Series. Last night in San Francisco, there were big parades, with men dancing in the streets and taking their clothes off. Then they heard about the baseball and things went crazy.
Marvel announced the next nine superhero movies. There will be African-American superheroes and female superheroes. In the first movie, African-American and female superheroes combine superpowers to face the impossible task — becoming late-night talk-show hosts.
Former major league player Jose Canseco accidentally shot his finger off while cleaning his gun. On the bright side, he’s taken so much human growth hormone that the finger grew right back.
According to the tabloids, Kris Jenner decided to skip Bruce Jenner’s birthday party this week. Bruce was so hurt, he cried. Well technically, he emitted saline from tubes implanted beneath his cheek.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Last night the San Francisco Giants beat the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 of the World Series. Condolences to the Royals fans and congratulations to the one Giants fan here in Los Angeles.
It was a great game, and of course after the game fans in San Francisco celebrated as fans are known to do — by lighting their city on fire. I’ve never understood that.
If your team wins, why not celebrate by destroying the other team’s city?
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants! Last night the Giants beat the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 to win the World Series. Finally, an excuse for the city of San Francisco to have a parade.
Ebola is still in the news. Today Kaci Hickox, the nurse who was kept in an isolation tent in New Jersey earlier this week, defied a quarantine order and went for a bike ride with her boyfriend. So it’s official: There is NOTHING that will get you out of a bike ride with your girlfriend.
Kellogg’s has reported a 31 percent drop in profits this quarter after sales of breakfast foods and snacks fell in the U.S. When asked how he’s doing, Tony the Tiger replied, “Not great.”