Late Night Jokes 28 October 2014
by John | 28th April, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
During a campaign event, former presidential nominee Bob Dole told the crowd that Mitt Romney should run for president in 2016. If there’s anyone who knows that the third time is a charm, it’s a guy who lost three times.
President Obama and Michelle Obama went to a parent-teacher conference at their daughters’ school this week. The teachers say their daughters are doing well, but with a few billion more in education funding, they could be doing great.
Taylor Swift announced she would become New York City’s new tourism ambassador. New Yorkers said, “How could we let a woman who’s not even from New York welcome people to the city?” And then the Statue of Liberty said, “I know, it’s just crazy. Can you believe it?”
Weather Channel co-founder John Coleman says there’s no such thing as man-made global warming. It’s actually not the first controversial statement Coleman has made about the weather. He also said, “I’ve been naming all the hurricanes after girls who dumped me in high school.”
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
For Halloween, a woman in Vermont is handing out kale to trick-or-treaters. If you’re in Vermont and you want to stop by, look for the house that’s been set on fire.
LeBron James and his wife have just welcomed a new baby. The baby was born in Cleveland but plans to move to Miami if it gets a better offer.
HBO just announced it will be laying off nearly 150 employees. That’s not HBO staff. That’s just characters getting killed off in the next episode of “Game of Thrones.”
Cosmo magazine is encouraging female students in North Carolina to vote by offering a party bus to the voting polls that includes shirtless male models — just as our forefathers intended.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Here is a new and important announcement from the CDC: You will not become a Jets fan through casual contact with a Jets fan.
Neil Patrick Harris is getting a new variety show on NBC. If you’re excited about Neil Patrick Harris and his variety show at NBC, it means one thing: You have never seen a variety show.
You know what will happen a week from today? Midterm elections. Can you just feel the indifference?
People running for re-election are distancing themselves from President Obama. He’s very lonely. He has no close friends in the White House. In fact, an intruder hopped the fence on Sunday, made it all the way to White House, and Obama begged him to stay and watch football.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
The French are under attack by clowns. People dressed as clowns are going from town to town committing crimes. Instead of spraying people with water, they use Perrier.
French clowns they don’t make balloon animals. They make baguette animals.
Pope Francis gave a speech where he said the theory of evolution is real. He also said the Big Bang theory is real. I wonder what he thinks of “Two and a Half Men.”
The Pope is saying that evolution is real. That’s quite a shock. That’s like a Kardashian saying, “No pictures, please.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Rob Ford had to withdrawal from the mayoral race in Toronto to undergo cancer treatment. He has vowed to run for mayor again in 2018. I don’t know if I can wait that long.
Marvel made a big, huge bombshell announcement today. It turns out they’re going to make a movie about superheroes.
Marvel also announced their first film with a female lead and first movie with an African-American lead. So we’re still waiting for a movie with a FAT superhero.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
While Mitt Romney was in Nebraska at a campaign rally to support a local Senate candidate this week, the crowd started chanting, “Run, Mitt, Run.” And now, nobody can find Mitt Romney.
Yesterday, Jennifer Lawrence and her boyfriend, musician Chris Martin, broke up. It didn’t work out because the best celebrity couple nickname they could come up with was “Martin Lawrence.”
Papa John’s has released a new pizza that comes topped with beef, chili, onions, cheese, and Fritos corn chips. And they’re on sale right now — buy 1, get Type-2 free.