Late Night Jokes 27 October 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Halloween is just a few days away and the Obamas have invited children to go trick-or-treating at the White House on Friday. It will be fun until the Secret Service tackles a kid and says, “We finally got one. He’s dressed like a ninja turtle and tried to get in here.”
Mayor de Blasio said New Yorkers will not get Ebola from riding the subway. He said, “Let’s focus on actual things you might catch on the subway. There’s the SARS virus, bird flu, rat flu, West Nile, East Nile — plenty to choose from. Ebola’s way down the list.”
Queen Elizabeth recently sent her first tweet. Prince Charles commented, “Call me when she sends her LAST tweet.”
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Before the World Series game last night, Aaron Lewis from the band Staind botched the National Anthem. To make things worse he started the song with, “Are you ready for some football?”
A new report claims that by the year 2020 the marijuana industry could be bigger than the NFL. Either way, it’s a good time to be in the couch business.
The city of Detroit says it has come up with a plan that could finally get it out of bankruptcy. The plan involves Detroit getting on a bus and moving back with its parents in Ohio.
France is seeing a rise in armed clowns terrorizing people on the streets. The good news is they’re scaring off the mimes.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
The No. 1 movie in the country is “Ouija,” as in the Ouija board. I can hardly wait for the next blockbuster motion picture — Yahtzee!
In the movie “Ouija,” they use the board to contact the dead. In the opening scene they’re talking to the Jets.
Over the weekend another guy jumped the fence at the White House. This time he was tackled by three security guards. They released him and then later in the day he was signed by the Jets.
If you think there’s a lot of people trying to get into the White House now, just wait about a year.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Vladimir Putin announced he’s abolishing daylight saving time. He said he doesn’t want to set Russian clocks back. I will say this: He’s done a pretty good job of setting the Russian calendar back — to about 1983.
Now that Putin’s gotten rid of daylight savings, it’s just a matter of time before he decides to get rid of daylight altogether.
The No. 1 movie at the box office this weekend was “Ouija.” It’s based on the popular board game made by Satan.
I think Ouija boards are a bunch of superstitious crap. At least that’s what my Magic 8 Ball told me.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said today that he has not yet decided whether he will run for president in 2016 — at which point Hillary Clinton took her foot off of his neck.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un visited an orphanage over the weekend. Well actually, it wasn’t an orphanage when he got there.
Dominican officials arrested a woman for trying to smuggle over $69,000 in a briefcase and more than $70,000 in her stomach. When asked what she was planning on using the money for, she said, “To buy a second briefcase.”