Late Night Jokes 25 September 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of late night jokes with the greatest comedians of the late night show Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Furguson and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that he is resigning after five years with the administration. Obama said, “Wait, you can do that?”
Political reporters are complaining that the White House has been asking them to edit some of their stories to make the president look better. The White House said that’s not true, and those reporters should please change what they said.
Bill Clinton said that riding wild horses in Mongolia and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro are on his bucket list. When asked what was on her bucket list, Hillary said, “Come on. Don’t make me say it. You know what it is.”
Snoop Dogg is investing in a new app that helps people trade stocks more easily. It’s the first stock app that encourages people to both buy and sell high.
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Today is Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year and the year 5775. Jewish scholars keep track of the number by counting the candles on Larry King’s birthday cake.
The NFL has filmed a PSA warning women about breast cancer. That’s a good thing. Then they filmed a PSA warning women about the NFL.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
They’ve had security problems at the White House. Last weekend a couple of guys hopped the fence and ran in. One guy got all the way in and made himself a sandwich.
White House security problems won’t happen anymore. They’ve decided that at night — it doesn’t make any difference what’s going on — they’re locking that front door.
Security is so tight now that they’ve asked members of Congress to circle the White House — because that way nothing will get past.
Derek Jeter’s final home game is tonight here in New York City. Derek Jeter has five rings. That’s about the same as a Kardashian. But you admire a guy who knows when it’s time to retire, you know?
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Remember Mike “The Situation” from “Jersey Shore”? He was indicted yesterday on tax fraud. He and his brother didn’t pay on $8.9 million of income. Maybe he thought he had to pay taxes only on the money he deserved?
The new iPhones are out and some are complaining that their phones are bending. They say if you squeeze the ends hard enough, the phone will bend. And if you hit it with a hammer, the phone will break. Here’s an idea. Don’t bend the phone.
If you do bend the phone, wrap it around your wrist and tell people it’s the Apple Watch. You’ll be the first one to have it.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Attorney General Eric Holder said today that he will resign after five years in office. When he heard about this, President Obama said, “Oh, he’s my ride. I gotta go.”
Tonight is Derek Jeter’s last game at Yankee Stadium. He’s finally coming to the end of an amazing career that spanned over 20 actresses.