Late Night Jokes 23 September 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of the late night jokes with the greatest comedians of the late night show Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Furguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
The White House has been having big security issues lately, after an intruder actually managed to jump the fence and make it inside. The White House actually said they will start locking the doors. When asked if he wanted a key, Biden said, “I’m fine just using the doggie door.”
In an interview, Bill Clinton hinted that his daughter Chelsea’s baby is due in early October. Though it got weird when reporters asked if it’s a boy or a girl, and Hillary said, “I haven’t decided yet.”
House Speaker John Boehner is facing criticism over a recent speech where he suggested that unemployed people are lazy. Boehner would clarify his statements, but he was on his second two-week break of the month.
Tomorrow night is the premiere of the new game show “Sports Jeopardy.” It’s got some pretty difficult clues like, “This NFL player ISN’T being investigated for a crime right now.”
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
People are still talking about this guy who hopped the fence and ran into the White House. President Obama is calling for a security crackdown. In fact, today he announced a new punishment for anyone who breaks into the White House: Now you have to be president.
Kris Jenner has filed for divorce from Bruce Jenner. There were rumors of another woman. So Bruce explained, “I am the other woman.”
Students at a high school in Detroit sent a YouTube video to the Pope asking him to visit their school. They want to see if the Pope can visit Detroit and still believe there’s a God.
Honey Boo Boo’s father, Sugar Bear, is denying charges that he cheated on Honey Boo Boo’s mother, Mama June. It’s being called the worst children’s bedtime story of all time.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It’s being called “Operation Approval Ratings.”
It’s bad enough when you’re president, but now there are guys hopping the fence. They beefed up security at the White House. Isn’t it about time? People were waiting in line to hop the fence.
This guy gets all the way to the front porch of the White House. So they beefed it up. The security people added to the front door one of the sliding chain things.
This guy hopped the fence, ran across the White House lawn, and almost got inside the White House. And the Republicans said, “Well, let’s nominate this guy.”
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Bruce Springsteen is 65 years old today. Now when he’s dancing in the dark, it’s because of cataracts.
It’s Sea Otter Awareness Week. It is taking the country by storm. Today Donald Trump put a sea otter on head. No one noticed.
Kris Jenner officially filed divorce from Bruce Jenner. They separated a year ago, but they waited until now to divorce because it’s in the script.
Bruce Jenner says he’s putting on a brave face. He took it out of the closet and put it on.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Many of the leaders and assistants to the leaders from around the world were in attendance at the U.N. Climate Summit. They say this was arguably the most high-profile, significant meeting that will in no way change anything whatsoever.
Unfortunately, the leaders of two of the world’s biggest polluters, China and India, did not show up for the summit. That’s like Daniel Day-Lewis and Meryl Streep not showing up for the Oscars.
Kris and Bruce Jenner are getting divorced. Kris Jenner said it was a painful decision for her and Bruce and executive producer Ryan Seacrest. The Jenner family is asking that no one respect their privacy at this difficult time.
Poor Bruce Jenner. When I was growing up, he was the most famous Olympic athlete in the world. His face was on a box of Wheaties. Now his face isn’t even on his face anymore. So watch out, Michael Phelps.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Next week the Supreme Court returns to work and is expected to decide if statements made on social media should be enough to put someone in jail. And if your mom is on Facebook, you know the answer is yes. Something has to stop her behavior.
According to a new estimate, Congress has had a full work week just 14 percent of the time since 1978. Congress said they planned to address the report next week because it’s already Tuesday.
According to a new report, Nigeria owes New York City over $500,000 in unpaid parking tickets for its foreign diplomats. Nigeria apologized and said they’ll pay the fines right away if they we send them our bank account number, our PIN, and our mother’s maiden name.