Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Kimmel. Conan O’Brien– Late Night Political Joke Over the weekend President Obama told Americans not to panic about Ebola. Then when asked about the Democrats’ chances in the upcoming midterm elections, Obama said, “Man, that Ebola sure is scary.” After embracing the gay community last week, the Vatican is now distancing itself from those comments. The Vatican explained, “Hey, that was just one crazy weekend, OK? We’ve all had them, right? A new study has found that men who are vegan have a much lower sperm count compared to those that eat meat. Even worse, the few sperm vegan men do have refuse to go anywhere near an egg. Brad Pitt is saying his role in “Fury” taught him to be a better father. Nicolas Cage said his role in “Ghost Rider 3” taught him he shouldn’t have done “Ghost Rider 3.” The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke Last night in Denver Peyton Manning he threw his 509th touchdown pass, an NFL record. Peyton’s brother Eli Manning called him to congratulate him, but unfortunately the call was intercepted. Rock ‘n’ roll legend Tom Petty turned 64 years old today. He’s gone from the Heartbreakers to the Hipbreakers. Tom Petty has gone from “I Won’t Back Down” to “I Can’t Get Up.” He’s gone from “Runnin’ Down a Dream” to “Scooterin’ Up a Ramp.” He’s gone from “Learnin’ to Fly” to “Forgettin’ How to Drive.” Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke Today was the much-anticipated launch of Apple Pay, the mobile payment system that allows you to buy stuff with your iPhone. So now you don’t have to go through the excruciating experience of going into your wallet, handing them your card, and putting the card back in your wallet. Here’s how the new mobile payment system works. If you so much as even glance at an Apple product, Apple Pay automatically deducts the full amount from your checking account. According to a new survey, almost 40 percent of new moms create social media accounts for their newborns. A good way to know you shouldn’t have a baby is if you think it’s a good idea to set up a Twitter account for it. One of the reasons moms are said to be doing this they don’t want to clutter their own Facebook feed with baby pictures so the baby gets its own page which you have to like unless you want the mother to hate you. As of today, Starbucks will allow their employees to display tattoos and ear gauges. Those are the round plugs that some people put in their ear lobe to let the world know their dads never played catch with them.