Late Night Jokes 18 Septemeber 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of late night jokes with our famous late nights political humor heros. Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, Craig Furguson and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
During President Obama’s visit to an elementary school yesterday, one little boy actually asked him if he ever fought in the Civil War. Obama told the boy he did not, but he re-enacts it with Congress all the time.
Obama actually told the student, “No I was born in 1961.” Then the kid said, “Where?” Then Obama said, “Uh, next question.”
Matt Damon is planning to shoot a fourth “Bourne Identity” movie. It tells the story of an actor who gradually remembers he has four kids to send to college.
A new study found that artificial sweeteners in diet soda might actually increase some people’s chances of obesity. Doctors recommend people just drink water, while people said, “No. We’re drinking diet soda. You guys figure it out.”
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
A member of the Baltimore Ravens has retired from football so he can donate a kidney to his brother. Since receiving the new kidney, the brother has committed six felonies.
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has put his post-college resume online for everyone to see. And it worked. He starts tomorrow at Quiznos.
A recent report says the majority of Americans cannot name the three branches of government — Judicial, Executive, and Legislative. To make it easier, the government is renaming those branches Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney.
The Islamic State is releasing its own “Grand Theft Auto” style of video game. In their version, the worse crime you can commit is letting a woman drive the car.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Today the 50th annual Mr. Olympia contest starts in Las Vegas. Arnold Schwarzenegger won it something like seven times. So just think. Today’s winner might someday ruin the state of California.
Did you see last night’s football game? It’s a shame that the Buccaneers and Falcons were forced to battle like that. Pirates and birds are usually friends.
You can’t make pirates and birds fight each other. That’s like making Jay Leno fight classic cars. Or Nicole Kidman fight Botox.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
A man was arrested yesterday after the garbage bag he was carrying split open and a human head fell out. If he’s convicted, the man could receive a two-week suspension from the NFL.
Royal Caribbean cruises will soon be adding robotic bartenders that can shake drinks, cut limes, and precisely measure alcohol. While Carnival Cruises announced they will soon be adding plumbing.
A bachelorette party missing since Monday after a hurricane hit has been found and safely returned to California. When asked about the ordeal one of the girls said, “We were screaming, everything was spinning, there were bodies everywhere — and then the hurricane hit.”