Late Night Jokes 17 December 2014
by John | 28th April, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Today President Obama announced that the U.S. is working to improve its relationship with Cuba in an effort to normalize full diplomatic relations. For instance, today they released one of our prisoners and in return we sent back one of their shortstops.
The White House will ease diplomatic relations with Cuba. When asked how he’ll celebrate, Obama said, “Smoke a Cuban cigar, no I mean smoke a regular cigarette — oh, I’ll just have some water, I guess, I don’t know.”
Despite Russia’s move to raise interest rates this week, the value of the ruble has continued to crash. Russia’s economy is so bad, Edward Snowden had to put government secrets on Craigslist.
In an interview, President Obama said he recently deejayed a small dance party at the White House. Obama has a lot in common with deejays. He takes requests and then completely ignores them.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
President Obama announced that he’s going to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba. He wants to act before Seth Rogen makes a movie about Castro.
The Dalai Lama said there should be no more Dalai Lamas after his death. That’s particularly bad news for his son, Steve Lama.
A new report says ISIS is trying to recruit professionals like doctors, engineers, and accountants. Sorry, kids, even ISIS says they’re not hiring liberal arts majors.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.
Those North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa’s naughty list.
Happy birthday to Pope Francis. He was born 78 years ago in Argentina. He’s not really named Pope Francis. That’s just his stage name. His real name is, of course, Carlos Danger.
They had a big birthday party for the Pope at the Vatican City Olive Garden.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
The White House announced plans to begin normalizing relations with Cuba — this as we’re awkwardizing relations with Russia.
The Pope is 78 today — old enough to watch CBS.
Cardinals threw the Pope a surprise party today. They hid behind his hat.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Sony hackers are threatening to attack theaters that show Seth Rogen’s new comedy about an attempt on North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un’s life. In response, the big theater chains won’t show the movie. They should be ashamed of themselves. The idea that there are North Korean terror cells in the U.S. is ridiculous. If there are any North Koreans in America, that’s only because they escaped.
After the theaters backed out, Sony decided to cancel the release of the movie entirely and nobody knows if the movie will be seen. The only way we’re ever going to see it is to hack into Sony. If only there was a group that knew how to do that.
If the North Koreans are going to stop one of our movies being shown, why couldn’t it be “Love Actually,” which my wife and her friends have in our living room every Christmas?
The message this sends is that if you really scare us, we’ll do what you want. Poor Seth Rogen. I heard he’s so stressed out by this that he’s been smoking marijuana.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
A new poll about the 2016 election shows that just 27 percent of voters would be likely to support Chris Christie. And only 4 percent of chairs.
After closing their final session, the outgoing 113th Congress has an approval rating of just 16 percent. To give you some perspective, Cosby is at 17.
Today a trailer was released for a new documentary about the Backstreet Boys. Unfortunately it was the one they were living in.
A Salvation Army bell ringer in Virginia was injured when an 87-year-old man accidentally ran him over. He was taken to the hospital once the applause died down.