Late Night Jokes 16 December 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
President Obama recently said that his day is all about politics, so in the mornings he likes to watch ESPN. So if you get the feeling he’s repeating himself every half hour, that’s where he learned it from.
During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, “Never paint your wife or your mother.” Then he added, “Because it’s almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.”
This evening marks the beginning of Hanukkah. It’s that special tradition where people find out their friend is Jewish and think back on the number of times they’ve asked them what they were doing for Christmas.
A FedEx truck crashed in New Jersey and spilled packages on the highway. Police would’ve responded, but when anything falls off a truck in Jersey, it’s actually the law to NOT ask questions.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Among the top Google searches of 2014 were Ebola and the movie “Frozen.” One leaves you with something highly infectious that’s impossible to get out of your system. The other is Ebola.
The hackers who hacked into Sony have leaked the upcoming script for the new James Bond movie. Some of the executives said the news left them shaken but not stirred.
Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes and the guy he was up against got killed in a mysterious boating accident. The boat was in a warehouse.
A “Walking Dead” spinoff is going to be set right here in Los Angeles. The zombies are expected to do the two things that people in L.A. refuse to do — walk and eat meat.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Guess who’s running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?
I feel like Bush presidencies are like “Godfather” films. You should stop at two.
Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. Earlier today out on the street, I saw a sidewalk Santa — I think he was drunk — and he was fighting with a sidewalk rabbi.
The Giants won on Sunday and the Jets won on Sunday. The Pope declared it a miracle.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won’t be in rehab.
What is Jeb Bush’s full name? Jebediah? Jebaroni?
Things were very different back in 1992. There was unrest in the Middle East, we had a gridlocked Congress, and everybody was talking about Bill Cosby.
The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can’t just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That’s Russia’s job.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. And who better to celebrate Hanukkah with than our guest tonight — Garth Brooks. Right?
Hanukkah, for those of you who aren’t overly familiar with it, is the reason cashiers say “Happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” when you’re at Jamba Juice or wherever.
Here in Los Angeles, we celebrate Hanukkah by lighting a medicinal menorah.
Hanukkah lasting for eight nights is a good idea. When you give gadgets to older relatives, it gives you more time to explain them. I gave my aunt an iPad for her birthday. She uses it as a cigarette tray.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Jeb Bush announced on the Internet that he is exploring a 2016 bid for president. And to increase his chances, he’s going to run as just “Jeb.” He said, “My last name? It’s not important.”
Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. Hanukkah lasts for eight nights — unlike Christmas, which lasts for two and a half months.
President Vladimir Putin has been named Russia’s man of the year. Second place went to “Or else.”
This week Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her third child. So she now holds the record for the most times a Kardashian has experienced labor.