Late Night Jokes 15 September 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of late night jokes with the greatest comedians from the late night show Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, Jimmi Kimmel and Seth Meyers. Check out what Seth has got to say about the I-phone 6 with the others.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Vice President Joe Biden will travel to Iowa this week, three days after Hillary Clinton’s high-profile return to the state. He’ll spend two days there — one campaigning and another stuck in a corn maze.
Actually, Biden will be in Iowa to help a group of nuns called “Nuns on the Bus” kick off their voter registration tour. Biden says it’s his way of giving back, while the nuns say it’s God’s way of testing their faith.
In a recent interview, Texas Governor Rick Perry revealed that he has spent the last 20 months preparing to run for president. Then Hillary said, “Call me when you’ve spent 67 years.”
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
South African sports officials have ruled that Oscar Pistorius is free to run competitively again. Shortly after the announcement, he was signed by the NFL.
The FBI debuted its new facial recognition software which will archive the faces of tens of millions of Americans every day. This groundbreaking, amazing new software is called Facebook.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
It’s a hot day here in Los Angeles. It was so hot, I saw lizards doing the ice-bucket challenge.
It was so hot, the Real Housewives injected their foreheads with cold lemonade.
It was so hot, CBS nearly replaced me with a camel.
It was so hot, people came to this show just for the air conditioning.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
In L.A. it’s over 100 degrees. Heat warnings remain in effect. The National Weather Service is advising residents of Southern California to strongly consider living somewhere else.
Not only are we having a heat wave, but we are in the middle of a major drought. Because of the heat, health officials are urging people to drink as much water as possible. But because of the drought, other local officials would like us not to.
Last night ABC broadcast the Miss America Pageant. It’s the annual competition in which women parade their almost naked bodies in front of a panel of judges and whomever is deemed to have the best one gets a scholarship so she can never have to parade her almost naked body around for money again.
Floyd Mayweather fought on Saturday night, and he won a unanimous decision, but it did not go without incident. In the eighth round, Mayweather claims his opponent bit him through the glove into his fingers. It’s only a matter of time before boxers are required to wear gloves on their teeth.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
The iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus received 4 million pre-orders in the first 24 hours. Meanwhile, the new Blackberry keeps driving by your house to see if you’re home.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s brother Doug Ford has announced that he’ll be running in his brother’s place. I don’t think it’s a good sign that in the Ford family, Doug is known as “the crazy one.”
Al-Qaida has issued an online message denying allegations that their organization is in decline — although I don’t think it helped that they posted it on Myspace.