Late Night Jokes 15 December 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Over the weekend the co-chair of Sony Entertainment broke her silence about the recent hacking scandal to apologize for some offensive emails she sent about President Obama. In response, Obama said, “Don’t worry. I secretly read those emails months ago.”
The world’s largest travel guide publisher has declared Queens, New York, the best place in the U.S. to visit next year. And if you don’t believe it, neither does anyone who lives in Queens.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio recently installed a fence around Gracie Mansion for privacy and security concerns. De Blasio wants to make sure the wrong person doesn’t get into the mayor’s mansion — while New Yorkers said, “Too late.”
Next year, Iowa will become the first state to offer residents an app that allows them to use smartphones as their driver’s license. That way you can have the one thing you lose most on the thing you lose the second most.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Some people are criticizing the new movie “Exodus” for casting the part of Moses with a white actor. They’re also not thrilled about the scene where Moses leads the Israelites out of Egypt driving a Prius.
Today in Washington, D.C., several government buildings were left without power. Of course, the White House will be without power for two more years.
Sy Berger, the designer of modern baseball cards, has died. He will be laid to rest in a shoe box somewhere in an attic.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Today is the busiest package transporting day of the entire holiday season. UPS today will handle 585 million packages. They don’t deliver them, they just handle them.
By the way, if you don’t mail your package today, it will not be destroyed by Christmas.
I’m so excited for my son. On Christmas morning I want to see his face, to be there when he opens the gifts. I want the see what my assistants got him for Christmas.
The Giants and the Jets won their football games yesterday. Astronomers say this will not happen again until the year 2164.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
In a remote village in Alaska, their one mailman quit. He said the sad environment and icy working conditions left him so miserable he had to walk away. Wait, sorry, that’s what I said because it’s my last week in this dump.
YouTube has revealed their 10 most watched videos of the year. May I be the first to say, “Congratulations, cats.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Sony was the victim of a massive cyber attack from hackers presumed to be based in North Korea. In an embarrassing email, a producer called Angelina Jolie a minimally talented spoiled brat. Which makes this all seem like a high school drama more than an international act of cyber terrorism.
Angelina Jolie, meanwhile, is now unable to promote her new movie, not because of this controversy with Sony, but because she’s got chicken pox. But that is some timing. Now she doesn’t have to go out and answer questions about Sony.
It is kind of funny that Jolie directed a movie about a guy who survived a plane crash, got lost at sea, and was held in a Japanese prison camp, and she cannot promote it because she has chicken pox. I mean, put on a turtleneck and get out there.
In London magic mushrooms were discovered growing at Buckingham Palace in Queen Elizabeth’s garden. You know, I was wondering why she knighted Jerry Garcia. And that’s probably why she changes the guards every hour. She’s completely paranoid.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Producers at Sony say that hackers have gotten a hold of a script for the upcoming James Bond sequel. Although if you really want to know what happens in the new James Bond movie, just watch every other James Bond movie.
Yesterday the prime minister of Haiti announced his resignation after several days of protests. Said the prime minister, “Haitians gonna hate.”
A man was recently admitted to the hospital for surgery after doctors discovered he still had surgical scissors in his stomach from a procedure performed 12 years ago. Said his new doctor, “The surgery was a success. Now where are my keys?”
Lindsay Lohan says she wants to move to London permanently. It’s a perfect fit because she already drives on the wrong side of the road.