Late Night Jokes 14 October 2014
by John | 26th April, 2017
Read the latest of the late night jokes with greatest talkers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un made his first public appearance yesterday in over 40 days. But since he saw his shadow, that now means 60 more years of nuclear winter.
A new study has revealed that the reading level of presidential speeches has dropped significantly over the last 200 years. Or as Americans put it, “Why dat?”
The search engine Bing has a new feature that can predict who will lose in the midterm elections — because if anyone’s good at predicting failure, it’s Bing.
A bar in London has been named the world’s best bar for the third year in a row. And if you want to know what it’s like being at the world’s best bar, just keep drinking in the bar you’re at.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Here in New York City we are ranked as the fourth most rat-populated city in North America. We can do better than fourth, can’t we?
The reason we’re only fourth in rat population is most of our rats grow old and retire to Florida.
For the last two months evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has been missing. Well, apparently he is back in public. It turns out he was buried in the end zone at Giants Stadium. He claims he was kidnapped by Neil Patrick Harris.
Because of health scares, they will be taking your temperature at airport security. Well, that should speed up lines.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Dictator Kim Jong Un is back. He’d been missing. No one knew where he was. No one had seen him for a long time. It was like he was hosting a talk show at 12:30 on CBS.
Hulk Hogan says he’s going to wrestle again. He hasn’t wrestled in years unless you count that sex tape.
Hulk Hogan is 61 years old. That’s an old wrestler. He’s such an old wrestler, his arch rival is stairs.
Before Hulk Hogan gets his teeth knocked out, he has to put them in. When he grabs a folding chair, it’s to sit down. His signature move is a nap.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
The most rat-infested city in the United States is Chicago. New York is fourth. That surprised me. I think that report is a bit misleading. The list is based on the number of calls Orkin got last year in each city. In New York, if you see a rat you don’t even bother to call.
Rats are considered to be roommates in New York. All you can do is ask them to pitch in on rent and hope for the best.
It’s hard to believe but they say we have more rats here in L.A. than they have in New York City. I guess we’re so focused on taking care of the Kardashian infestation that we forgot about the rats.
In North Korea, dictator Kim Jong Un made his first public appearance in over a month. He’s put on weight and he’s carrying a cane. Kim Jong Un is a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain at this point.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Today the Obama administration announced the 140 people selected from across the country to participate in the fall White House internship program. Unlike the White House itself, the internship program is very hard to get into.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un resurfaced yesterday after more than a month out of the public eye. U.S. officials think that the reason no one saw him for so long is that he was starring in an NBC sitcom.
Brad Pitt said in an interview this week that he doesn’t feel safe in his own home without a gun. Said Pitt, “I don’t even know half these kids.”
On this day in 1912, President Teddy Roosevelt was shot, declined to go to the hospital, and gave a 90-minute speech with a bullet in his chest. Then on this day in 2012, I spent the whole day on WebMD because my eyelid wouldn’t stop twitching.