Late Night Jokes 14 November 2014
by John | 28th April, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman and Craig Ferguson.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
After a six-year battle, the Senate will vote next week to begin construction on the Keystone XL pipeline, which is an oil pipeline that runs from Canada to the Gulf Coast. They’re hoping the pipeline will provide enough oil to cover Kim Kardashian’s next photo shoot.
The pipeline would run from Canada to the Gulf Coast. It’ll be the biggest underground structure leading into the U.S. Then people in Mexico said, “Eh . . . second biggest.”
This week Bill Clinton tweeted a photo of himself reading George W. Bush’s new book “41.” Then George W. Bush responded to that post on Instagram. Then John McCain said “You two are hilarious” by telegraph.
There are reports that leaders from ISIS and al-Qaida met at a farm house in Syria last week, and agreed to work together against their common enemies. That story again: Two radical terrorist groups managed to do what two American political parties cannot.
The Late Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade has new balloons this year including the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon and the first openly gay balloon. Also the Thomas Tank Engine balloon, and they even have the Ebola nurse balloon.
We thought New York City was home to 8 million rats. Turns out, that’s a little high. The actual number is 2 million rats. That explains the light turnout for the midterm elections.
Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew is coming. You drink it, you get a combination of type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
Big movie opens this weekend: “Dumb and Dumber To.” It stars Alex Rodriguez and Jose Canseco.
Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Happy 60th birthday to new-age star Yanni. It’s also Prince Charles’ birthday today. Here’s the thing, though. He turns 66. One more six and you would have the number of the beast.
Prince Charles celebrates his birthday the same day “Dumb and Dumber To” opens. Coincidence?
Now Jim Carrey of “Dumb and Dumber To” and Prince Charles are very different, of course. One’s a cartoony character with bad teeth who really makes me laugh. The other one is Jim Carrey.
“Dumb and Dumber To” might have a little bit of potty humor. If you don’t like middle-aged guys telling jokes about pee-pee and poo-poo, why are you watching this show?
Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels refused to do this movie without each other. That’s sweet. My sidekick Geoff and I have a similar agreement regarding talk shows. Unless Andy Richter’s available.