Late Night Jokes 14 August 2014
by John | 26th April, 2017
Read the latest of the late night jokes with Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers and Conan O’Brien. Jimmy will tell you why Congress is suing the president and and read about the toxic chemical in iphone with Conan and Seth bringing you news all the way from Korea.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
People are still fighting about immigration. Congress is suing the president. I’m not saying things are bad, but the Middle East just sent diplomats to negotiate peace in OUR country.
The White House says President Obama won’t make any major announcements during his brief trip back to D.C. this weekend. Reporters said, “Isn’t THAT an announcement?”
Oh this isn’t good. The Secret Service just arrested 13 people in New Jersey who were making counterfeit money. Which got worse when the counterfeiters said, “Are you sure this isn’t something a seven-dollar bill can’t get me out of?”
This week a town in Minnesota elected a dog named Duke as its mayor. Yeah, they elected a mayor that pees on the street, sleeps on the floor, and eats out of the garbage. Then Toronto said, “Been there!”
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Apple announced it will ban two toxic chemicals that are used in the production of iPhones. In a related story, that iPhone in your pocket right now is made of toxic chemicals.
The Kardashians are outraged that they’ve been robbed three times this year but the police have not caught the culprits. Kim Kardashian said, “We just want back what’s wrongfully ours. We didn’t earn that money and we should get to keep it.”
Kobe Bryant and Nike have teamed up to make a Beethoven-themed sneaker. They’re motto is “Play basketball like an 18th century deaf German.”
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
The Korean Aerospace Institute announced that their one and only astronaut resigned for personal reasons. Now all he has to do is get back to Earth.
A woman was arrested at LaGuardia Airport this week after she was seen stealing an iPad and iPhone. The women could be sentenced to as much as six months at LaGuardia.
An Oregon man called Portland police Monday to report that traffic was being held up by a chicken attempting to cross a road. Then on Tuesday, he called back to report a priest and a rabbi walking into a bar.