Late Night Jokes 13 October 2014
by John | 26th April, 2017
Read the latest of late night jokes with the greatest comedians of late night show 2014 & 2015 Jimmy Fallon, David Letteman, Craig Furguson, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers. Check out Obama’s latest golf score with Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman and Seth Meyers wishing Happy Columbus Day to everyone and the Obama and FarmVille fundraising has been the latest of Craig Furguson.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
President Obama played his 200th round of golf yesterday. Then Democrats said, “You know what? He can do whatever he wants as long as he’s not trying to campaign for us.”
President Obama was in California over the weekend to attend a fundraiser hosted by the creator of “Farmville.” Obama and the creator of “Farmville” have a lot in common. They both really wish it was still 2009.
A new survey found that people in New York are the most generous tippers at restaurants. You can tell the money’s good because the other day I met an actress who dreams of becoming a waitress.
Runners from Kenya came in first, second, and third in the Chicago Marathon yesterday. Even crazier, all three runners turned out to be one dude lapping everyone.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Happy Columbus Day to everybody. Columbus had three ships: the Kim, the Kourtney, and the Khloe.
Scientists have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is life after death — though they say it’s virtually impossible to get decent Chinese food.
Today they announced the Nobel Prize winner for economics. It went to the guy who sold Derek Jeter’s socks for 400 bucks.
Vladimir Putin was nominated but did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. Earlier today he said, “Who do I have to kill to win a Nobel Peace Prize?”
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Last week was the big fundraiser for President Obama hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow. It was hosted at her house. And people say Obama never reaches out to the inner city.
A fundraiser at Gwyneth Paltrow’s house was a good idea for the president. He found the one person in America with lower approval ratings than his.
Gwyneth Paltrow told the president he was so handsome that she couldn’t speak properly. I wish Obama would get a little bit more handsome so she would shut up forever.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s neighbors were very upset because they didn’t know about the fundraiser beforehand. Wow, that’s the first time the Secret Service managed to keep a secret. Take that, people who can have me killed!
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
A lot of people have a three-day weekend because of Columbus Day. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and 522 years later a lot of people still get Monday off to celebrate. No one’s received more credit for getting lost than Christopher Columbus in the history of mankind.
Unlike Columbus, if a pizza delivery guy got lost nobody would give him a day. They wouldn’t even give him a tip.
As the story goes, Columbus was aiming for India, wound up in the Caribbean, and Americans have been terrible at geography ever since.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Last week North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un missed a ceremony marking the 69th anniversary of the country. Experts say it’s especially strange because he knew cake would be there.
Nobody knows where he is but the U.S. national security adviser says there is no evidence that Kim Jong Un has been overthrown. If anything, he was probably just tipped over.