Late Night Jokes 13 November 2014
by John | 26th April, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
It’s rumored that President Obama is planning to announce a new 10-part immigration plan before Thanksgiving. And you thought your family wouldn’t have anything to argue about this year.
Yesterday the Supreme Court lifted the ban on same-sex marriage in Kansas. They didn’t give a reason for the ruling, but then again when a state is famous for a Judy Garland musical about a rainbow and a wizard who comes out of a closet, do you really need an excuse?
Prince took his first selfie yesterday with an actual camera, because his publicist says he doesn’t own a cellphone. Or in other words, I guess he’s still partying like it’s 1999.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.
Developers are working on a new app that gives you a 10-second warning before an earthquake. The app is called “Too Late.”
Usher has announced that his next single will be available exclusively in boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios. The single is called “I Can’t Believe It’s Come to This.”
Warren Buffett’s company has bought Duracell for $6.4 billion. I think he overpaid because batteries were not included.
Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
A “Duck Dynasty” musical is in the works. It’s predicted to be very popular with fans of “Duck Dynasty” who also love musical theater. In other words, nobody. Actors who audition should be proficient in singing, dancing, and hiding their sexual orientation.
I wonder what the “Duck Dynasty” musical will be called? Perhaps “Quackin’ in the Rain.” “Fiddler on the Pond.” Or “Hello Ducky.”
A tiger has been seen running around Paris. Citizens were told to stay indoors and do whatever’s necessary to protect the wine and cheese. They should leave home only to smoke and to judge others.
When Parisians first heard about a giant predator on the loose, they assumed it was Gerard Depardieu.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
According to recent reports, hipsters in the Middle East are being confused for jihadists because of their long beards. That’s good.
Yesterday, while flying over Germany, the cargo door fell off of Bono’s jet. And somehow, it landed in my iTunes.
A teenager in Arkansas was arrested after he was caught driving without a license on his way to the DMV to take a driving test, tried to flee, and crashed into a police car. On the plus side, it sounds like he was probably going to fail anyway.