Late Night Jokes 12 August 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Check out what the comedians are cracking up today. We have Fallon back on track with President Obama, Conan with the marijuana tax and Seth with the the Walmart issue.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
President Obama went to the beach yesterday while he’s vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard. Which got weird when he took out his metal detector to search for $16 trillion in quarters.
During a fundraiser last night, President Obama suggested that one or more Supreme Court justices may retire soon. Which got awkward when Ruth Bader Ginsburg said, “You can have this gavel when you pry it out of my even colder, deader fingers.”
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said that he is still sober and he’ll never be caught doing anything illegal ever again. Then he said, “Unless someone’s taping me. Then I’ll get caught probably.”
Rob Ford also said that he is committed to living a healthier life, and his days of going to the liquor store are over. Which would be great, if he weren’t addicted to crack.
Jimmy Fallon Late Night Joke on Obama
When Jimmy Fallon took over as host of The Tonight Show, many wondered if the show would become an Obama worshiper show since Fallon seems to have a soft spot for the Obama family. After all, he could forget his ‘Slow Jam the News’ segment with Obama in his previous show in which Fallon referred to him as the “Preezy of the United Steezy.”
But, sometimes, Fallon ventures off and actually does what many late night hosts have done in the past. Make fun of the president, regardless of his political party.
The First Family is on their umpteenth vacation of the year, let alone of Obama’s presidency. It seems as though Obama takes vacations from vacations and needs time off from his difficult golf and fundraising schedule. After all, Obama has played 186 rounds of golf since taking office. Those facts makes Jimmy Fallon’s joke hit close to him and shed light on an uncomfortable truth for the left. Fallon took to Twitter on Monday and made a joke that would be funny if it wasn’t true.
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Since January, Colorado has made nearly $30 million in taxes from marijuana sales. That’s in addition to the $40 million they made taxing Doritos. It goes hand-in-hand.
Smokey Bear just celebrated his 70th birthday. Smokey bear is 70. Can you believe he’s that old? Smoky says he puts out fires by waking up seven times a night and peeing on them.
Scientists have figured out how to suppress the appetites of mice. They bring them to a Long John Silver’s.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Today is National Middle Child Day. And appropriately, it won’t get any attention.
Customers at a Georgia subway restaurant located inside a Walmart started throwing things at the workers because the store’s lettuce looked brown. Because there is no customer with more discriminating taste than one who eats at a Georgia subway in a Walmart.
According to a new study, men over 5’10” are twice as likely to cheat on their partners. And men under 5’10” are twice as likely to cheat on forms where you have to enter your height.
1980s’ rock star Bret Michaels is holding a motivational seminar at the Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando this September called “Life Rocks.” So if you’re going, yours doesn’t.