Late Night Jokes 11 September 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of the late night jokes with our late night show comedians Jimmy fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman and Seth Meyers. Bringing you the best of political humor.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
During a speech last night, President Obama announced that the U.S. will lead a huge multinational coalition to fight the terror groups in Iraq. Of course, most people just turned it off because they thought it was a rerun.
The number of single people in the U.S. is at its highest level in 38 years. I think the makers of Häagen-Dazs and the makers of Hot Pockets just high-fived each other.
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
Apple is now saying that the new Apple Watch needs to be charged every single day. Also charged every single day: someone in the NFL.
The National Organization for Women is calling for NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to resign. They made their demand in a video that Commissioner Goodell said he will watch in five months.
A young violinist from Lithuania played violin for three hours while she was undergoing brain surgery. Yeah, she was undergoing brain surgery and she played the violin the whole time. Man, those are some strict parents.
Ben & Jerry’s has introduced what they’re calling a marijuana-friendly ice cream. They’re calling it “ice cream.”
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
In New York City today it was cloudy — just like Roger Goodell’s future.
Tonight’s the premiere of Thursday Night Football here on CBS. CBS Sports has cameras everywhere — on the sidelines, in the end zones, in the blimps. The only camera the NFL is not interested in is the one in the elevator.
They’re now selling parking places in New York. You can buy a premium parking place for $1 million. When President Obama heard that, he said, “Hey, wait a minute. I’ll give you $2 million if you will take the place I’m in.”
Don’t get the wrong idea. These New York parking places are not only for the wealthy. Anybody with $1 million can buy one. By the way, I understand there’s a parking place available in the players’ lot at the Baltimore Ravens’ stadium.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
A new condo development in New York is charging a million dollars for parking spots. A million dollars to park your car — wouldn’t it be cheaper to just get a ticket every day for the rest of your life and park wherever you want?
Apparently Taylor Swift and Katy Perry are fighting. That’s according to my source, which is a group of 12-year-old girls I ran across in the street.
Usually when you hear Katy Perry versus Taylor Swift, it’s a drunk bachelorette party argument over what karaoke song to sing.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Congress sent a letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Wednesday demanding “the highest level of transparency” concerning the league’s handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence incident. That’s right, Congress sent him a letter. They would have sent a video, but they wanted Goodell to see it.
People who purchased Olive Garden’s 7-week unlimited pasta pass are being told that they must show their ID in the restaurant to prevent fraudulent use of the cards. Unfortunately, by week 5 none of them will look anything like their IDs.
It’s been discovered that a healthy 24-year-old woman in China has lived her whole life without a major part of her brain. Scientists are calling her “the lost Kardashian.”