Late Night Jokes 11 December 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, and Jimmy Kimmel.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
The Justice Department ruled that Native American tribes are allowed to grow and sell marijuana on reservations. This decision was hailed as a victory by Native American leader Giggling Eagle.
This morning, due to a massive storm, at least 150,000 people in San Francisco were left without power. Of course, people in San Francisco without power are usually called Republicans.
According to a new study, almost 300,000 tons of plastic are currently floating in the world’s oceans. About 200,000 tons of that plastic are discarded Bruce Jenner faces.
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Welcome to “The Late Show,” ladies and gentlemen. I’m Dave Letterman. Just another lame duck.
A company has developed a grease burn protection so you can fry a skillet full of bacon naked. You can now fry bacon naked. I know you think it’s a joke, but that’s how Orson Welles died.
I did that once. I’m so embarrassed. I thought it would be fun to cook bacon naked. And then Denny’s fired me right on the spot.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
There’s a holiday gift giving trend that’s supposedly on the rise this year called self-gifting. I don’t know why everything has to have a term. Didn’t that used to be called shopping?
It’s OK to buy a gift for yourself. But buying a gift and wrapping it for yourself, that’s pathetic.
For lunch today, I gifted myself a roast beef sandwich.
I haven’t figured out gift cards. It’s kind of like saying I care about you, but not enough to leave the line at Albertson’s to find a real gift.
Nothing costs exactly the amount on the gift card. If it’s less, you wind up with a credit for like $3, which you’ll never use. If it’s more, then you’re partly buying your own gift.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke