Late Night Jokes 10 November 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Read the latest of Late night jokes with the famous comedians of the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Pepsi is testing a new drink flavor, which is a mix between Mountain Dew and Doritos. Or as stoners call it, “instant breakfast.”
The October jobs report was released and it showed that unemployment has hit its lowest point in six years. Also hitting its lowest point: anyone who tried that new Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew.
Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on “Face the Nation” over the weekend. President Bush said there’s a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, “But there’s an 80 percent chance he won’t.”
It was the 60th anniversary of “Face the Nation.” During his interview, President Obama said, “Our country doesn’t fear the future. We grab it.” Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.
The Late Late Show with Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, “After those midterms, it’s nice to finally see a friendly face.”
Justin Bieber hung out with the Pittsburgh Steelers before yesterday’s game and then the Steelers lost. Apparently the Steelers were not inspired by his speech, “Win one for the Bieber.”
A new book claims that Jesus had a wife and two kids. In other words, he suffered even more than we thought.
Scientists have discovered a virus that lowers the intelligence of people it infects. The virus is called “H-1 Kardashian-1.”
Late Show with David Letterman – Late Night Political Joke
Pepsi has a new Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew. No, we don’t have an Ebola vaccine, but we do have the Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew.
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and Kim Jong Un had him executed. I remember the same thing happened when a guy used Martha Stewart’s personal lemon zester.
President Obama is in China. Today he visited the kids who make our cellphones.
Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China and said, “We need one of these things around the White House.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Amazon has a new digital assistant. It’s their version of Apple’s Siri. It’s called Echo. They say it’s going to revolutionize the way we loudly repeat ourselves at electronic devices.
PepsiCo is developing a Doritos Mountain Dew called Dewitos. I think I’ll wait until they come out with Diet Dewitos.
It’s unclear when Dewitos will be released. But if it does come out, stoners are going to have some very tough choices to make. Do I eat my Doritos or drink them?
I’m working on a combination of Ruffles and Red Bull. It tastes like America at its worst.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
This weekend George W. Bush said it’s a toss-up whether his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Bush said there’s a 40-40 chance.
A pastor at a controversial church in Harlem said last week that Starbucks is ground zero for Ebola. Unless “Ebola” is a new Norah Jones CD, I’m betting he’s wrong.