Late Night Jokes 08 August 2014
by John | 26th April, 2017
Read the latest from Late Night Show comedians. Jimmy is back with President Obama and Craig talking on Boston Comic-Con.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
President Obama is planning to break up his vacation in Martha’s Vineyard by returning to D.C. for two days for meetings. Yeah, two days away from his family vacation — or as that’s also known, a “vacation.” If you’ve been on vacation, then you know.
CNN is being sued after one of its correspondents got drunk and bit two paramedics. The good news is, CNN finally has a story worth talking about. Sometimes you gotta make your own news. “Tequila on the house! Tequila! On! The! House!”
Timex announced that it’s creating a new smart watch that can track your speed, distance, and GPS. People said, “Does it tell time?” And Timex was like, “I knew we forgot something!”
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
Today’s the start of the Boston Comic-Con. It starts with a man riding a horse across cobblestone streets shouting “The nerds are coming! The nerds are coming!”
People dress up and dump the “Star Wars” prequels in the harbor. Hah! A man can dream!
A bunch of movies came out today. They cover many genres, but they have one interesting thing in common: They’ll get their butts kicked by the new “Ninja Turtles” movie that opens today.
I don’t know a lot about ninja turtles. I know they’re named after artistic Italian men: Michelangelo, Donatello, Madonna.
And ninja turtles live in the sewers of New York City. If they want to hide out somewhere that New Yorkers never go to, they should try a Mets game.
I had a pet turtle when I was a kid. He taught me a lot. For instance, he taught me I love the taste of turtle soup.