Late Night Jokes 04 August 2014
by John | 28th June, 2017
Check out what the comedian has got to say. It is a special day for the Tonight Show as it is the 100th show and it is also a celebration as President Obama turns 53.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon – Late Night Political Joke
Tonight is our 100th episode. To celebrate, people sent us flowers and a big cake — which I immediately passed on to Rob Ford and Chris Christie. We couldn’t have done it without them.
Of course, we’re not the only ones celebrating. President Obama turned 53 years old today. Obama blew out his candles and made a wish. But when he opened his eyes, he was still president.
“Sesame Street” says it may take legal action against people in Times Square who dress up like its characters. Seriously? Look at the people they’d be suing. What do they expect to win in the lawsuit? A flask of whiskey and an IOU to a bookie?
A new iPhone app gives advice to people going through a divorce. So if you’re someone who relies on an app for advice during difficult times, well maybe that’s why you’re getting a divorce.
Conan O’Brien – Late Night Political Joke
We have the cast of “Orange Is the New Black” tonight. The show features a cast of ruthless women who are constantly at each other’s throats. And for once, I’m not talking about “The View.”
“Orange Is the New Black” has helped usher in a new TV trend called “binge watching.” Binge watching blends nicely with another trend in America — unemployment.
This is not the first show I have watched about a women’s prison. However, it is the first show about a women’s prison I didn’t have to delete from my browser history.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson – Late Night Political Joke
It is our president’s birthday. It’s also the birthday of NASCAR champ Jeff Gordon. Jeff Gordon and President Obama are very different, of course. One’s a guy who spent his whole life turning left and is hated by NASCAR fans. And the other one? Jeff Gordon.
I love it when people here in L.A. pretend to know what NASCAR is. They’ll say, “Is that the one with the car?” Or: “Do those cars run on gasoline? I can’t endorse this. Can’t they use Priuses and fuel them with kale?”
The annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally starts August 4. But times have changed. Now even biker gangs are into recycling. When the motorcycle rally is over, the gangs go around responsibly collecting trash, bottles, and broken teeth.
These days any group of bikers can call themselves a motorcycle gang. Some gangs are really bad, like Sons of Anarchy. Other gangs are just orthodontists who go up the highway on a Sunday afternoon.
Jimmy Kimmel Live – Late Night Political Joke
Happy birthday to President Obama. He turned 53 today, according to his birth certificate. The truth is he’s actually 55 years old but Congress blocked his last two birthdays.
Tonight President Obama blew out the candles on the gluten-free broccoli and carrot loaf from Michelle, and then cried himself to sleep. She did let him smell a piece of cake.
ABC premiered a new show tonight called “Bachelor in Paradise.” I’m glad they’re finally doing a bachelor show in paradise. Normally they do them in Third-World countries and industrial parks.
Some people criticize ABC for putting shows like “Bachelor in Paradise” on the air. But the truth is you can’t always get down to the baboon exhibit at the zoo. Sometimes they need to be brought to you.
Late Night With Seth Meyers – Late Night Political Joke
Happy birthday to President Obama. He turned 53 today, if you believe the birth certificate.
President Obama is turning 53 while his face and hair are turning 68. Congratulations to all three of them.
Congress wanted to surprise President Obama on his birthday so they passed a bill.
The owner of a prominent paparazzi agency is saying he won’t use drones to take pictures of celebrities because he has too much respect for them. And by “them” he means the drones.